a quiet person who makes loud sounds

random return to LJ w/ a great image for you all....

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 05:01:54 GMT

so had this dream last night, one of those quick ones that seems to be 5 seconds long...
i was standing in my room, i look down at myself - i'm naked and notice i have a raging hard-on which is pointing very weirdly to the left... but what's weirder my penis is the penis of a black man... i think to myself something along the lines of "what the fuck? am i wearing some kind of sheath or something?"

end dream.

please, someone, tell me the deep meaning of this subconscious manifestation?

definitely one of the most totally abstract & bizarre ones i can remember having.

shit

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 03:27:33 GMT

oh shit. i still check this daily for some reason and since its hoppin lately why the fuck not...

whats happened since my last post...

after quitting target i did a lot of drugs & alcohol for a year. actually was doing a lot of drugs for the last few months while i was there then when i quit and jus started drinking all day and night on top of them.

as for "taking the summer off" instead i went back to target for 2 days in the winter, then may-aug worked at the riverhead aquarium as part of the photography crew (i was outside harassing families under direction of the turkish mafia, it was hot), then a month later worked 1 day at a factory which was awesome... but i did the weeks work assigned from a temp agency in 1 day - they were actually gonna have me undo / re-do my work from the first day to fill up my assigned hours - so, no... then like a month later worked at marketing inc for a day but i'm to white for that job... and tonight started working at michael's arts & crafts. i think i'll stay at this job awhile, its kinda cool. during unemployed months i "recycled" hundreds of pounds of copper out of abandoned buildings and sold shit on ebay and did pretty well enough if i do say so.

also since the last entry started dating sue, then living with her and ian at her mothers apt in middle island, it was a big change but oddly didn't feel like one at all to me.. cause i <3 her. then at the beginning of october moved back to my place in ei with them. we are working to get out of the parents basement reality lifestyle.. that would be nice.

had a bunch of ahlz tapes come out then a record came out a few months ago. recording for some more vinyl now as well as a cd on hospital but maybe gonna ask dom if he'll jus do another lp cause i think thats probly better. havent been to any shows in awhile, lame. also i started playing live and played a bunch of places, its a lot of fun. i went to ohio w/ my buddies the halflings and cathode terror secretion. i brought erik. it was a lot of driving. the heat was pure hell. but was drunk and got money for the shows = yay?! i went to arby's. arby's with a tripping on mushrooms erik at 3am. my fav show was the day after x-mas, fvck - almost a year ago now - i did a collab set w/ bryan/viodre and we played for like 2 mins, we broke everything and i was bleeding a lot. it was great. next show in allentown, PA w/ slogun & ffh... fuckin psyched.

time to get into bed, cause i go to bed early now.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 21:41:34 GMT

well guess i'm not going to see pedestrian deposit/oscillating innards tonight... fell back asleep for 2 hours after my alarm went off and missed my train. kinda funny, this date weighed heavy in my quitting target, and now for nothing. pretty pissed. guess the only place i'll go tonight is the liqour store.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 02:32:41 GMT

quit target the other day. wasnt really planning to but got into a tussle with manager man cause he scheduled me for last friday making it a six day week without asking, i didnt come in and as a consequence was "written up". and this apparently pissed him off so much he didnt give me the day i want off this week (as well as the 17th) even though i had vacation time available. when i confronted him about it, reminding him that i took off one day in the beginning of the month and ended up working anyway, he said would write me up for a no-call no-show again if i didnt come in those days, two write ups = fired. and during the course of this conversation i said i needed to go down to three days anyway, and he said i couldnt. "your availability is 7 days we need you here 5" blah blah, bullshit. i held shit together in the backroom and this guy wants to grease his dick cause he's the head manager now cause the previous one quit the other week.. so fuck em. oh well. not like theres a shortage of jobs moving boxes around for basically minimum wage. figure i'll take a month off to finish the lp for hospital and a few tapes. then since my life will be just a series of shitty jobs i got ideas for the next one, a driving job would be pretty great, since ive been driving with an expired liscence for months and have to renew it anyway might as well take the course to get certified for a class c or whatever it is. nightime security sounds good. maybe some type of shipping/receiving wherehouse shit. or my original dream of being a janitor would still be ideal. worst case i'll end up at k-mart and do the exact same thing except in a blue shirt instead of a red one, id like to avoid retail though.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 00:29:03 GMT

man sunn o))) was so loud last night... stage lined from end to end with amps ontop of the house system... probly louder then merzbow in '01 which was the loudest show i've seen, 70 mins standing there in horrible heat was a real endurace test. boris was good to though i thought it couldve done without the rock parts which is probly why i dont own any of their releases. gave a black girl who said i have pretty hair my unreadable sticker. on the lirr home met these two totally trashed metalhead brothers who were at the show, said they liked noise so i gave em my unreadable sticker. but then when talking to them realized they think bands like sunn are noise and didnt seem to get what i meant when explaining what my stuff was like.. in the 10 mins i was talking to them this one mentioned nodding out and feeling nauseous from dope like 6 times, ha.
was way to hot out the whole time though, real gross. really need to stop procrastinating and go down to 3 days at work, its getting too muggy inside the building for me to be motivated to spend 5 nights there already.

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 00:14:55 GMT

after getting up to piss and having a dream in which i was doing my job of putting boxes on a shelf at target, i went back to sleep saying i'd better have a good one to make up for the numerous shitty working at target related dreams lately. so the brain then delivered a good one. i was in posession of some small tattered book bound in leather and lambs fat that contained rituals that could open the gates of hell. how lambs fat could be used to make a cover i dont know but thats what the brain was telling me. not believing in such things i began to experiment with the book in my grandmothers old house in bayshore. the lighting got almost to dark to see, the sky became a shade of dark orange while snowing at the same time. next thing i was huddled with some people in a dark place trying to finish the ritual, dave was there and being impatient about the ritual being finished, for he didnt believe in such things and even with the snow and sounds of demons howling he didnt believe it would happen. the sounds of wood cracked and the portal became visible, a place that looked like an industrial complex appeared but was structured in a way which featured numerous rows of open hallway stacked on top of one another where the demons (who looked similar to the aliens from that independece day movie... kinda stupid cause when i have dreams with demons they usually look more like humanoid devils) could be seen roaming waiting to come through. looking down at the book i came to the next chapter and there was a profile image of a devils head and a moon behind him, the face turned to look at me while the moon crossed to the other side of his head, that is when i closed the book and ran away with it knowing it should be destroyed. the people i were with chased after me but i managed to escape into woods and just threw the book. there was then a moment of still solace in the forest, the sky still making everything appear a brownish/orange and i collapsed exhausted onto a shitty bed in dirty small stone room with nothing else in it. then woke up and muttered 'alright better then that shitty working at target dream'.

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 03:56:59 GMT

was supposed to go to all three nights of no fun fest but after two my body cant handle it anymore. unbelievable how crazy this thing was.

night 1:
aside from Can't and Aaron Dilloway was downstairs at the hospital night. Can't I enjoy cause noone else sound like her. i dont usually dig minimal stuff but her sweet vocals & soft analog sputtering thing drips with a unique purity, better then the previous 2 times i saw her. Dilloway was pretty great, creeped out tape gunk sick junk thing. ended with about 50 people in a pile on stage. Air Conditioning was first downstairs and played a set easily as good as any of their recordings. rocked. Sickness was next and did his fast hard cut up noise thing, coming from him i was expecting it to be more dynamic, was good none the less. Deathpile followed and as soon as he started the crowd got going pit style, was raukus and great. funny seeing those scenekids looking fucks slam around to a guy screaming about killing women. i think mike connely was doing electronics this time, which was thick filthy as fuck PE and much better then the electronics in the other Deathpile set i saw. Bone Awl was next, i had never heard them before but was psyched to since i read good stuff about them. played fast raw violent black metal which i totally dug, no wanky guitar solo's or keyboards or hardcore riffs. picked up their cs on hospital and collab w/ the rita, pissed i didnt get the other tape & 7" now. Grunt was after and started out straight PE wall and shouting style, switched to dark industrial PE with dirty walls metal clattering and samples later on. i remember thinking live industrial sound probably couldnt be done any better. Landed rocked if you like metal, not really my bag. was violent though. the split lp w/ AC is cool,

on the subway back to penn was sittin with some people from the fest, turned out one was alex of Climax Denial and the other happen to have my doube tape set. pretty much everyone i met brought up the double tape actually.. i guess it does rule, certainly cant seem to do shit that way these days.

night 2:
walked into Spider Compass downstairs... saw two people in giant flamingo costumes with giant heads playing zany organ music with electro knob noodling over it. was entertaining for 10 mins but i had had enough after that since it really didnt change at all and wanted to score more merch. which i then did. saw the first act upstairs which i think was Other Peoples Children? but i thought they cancelled cause on the NFF site it says CPT, though the schedule said OPC.. i dunno was harsh noise. Hive Mind was next and was better then then he was at the previous years fest, was heavy as fuck throbbing slithering drone electronics but more psychadellic then anything i've heard from him. Bloodyminded was next and was sound wise the best of the 3 times ive seen them. The noise/feedback/vocals were dead on in such a violent manner and though crowd was rough it lacked the uncontrolled feeling of the basement last year. hung out outside and mostly missed the next two acts, tho i did go downstairs for a bit to see Tarantism but left when i realized it sucked. Got back inside to see Menche, which was one of my fav sets ever. soundwise i was blown away, heavy droning walls, delayed voice/body sounds, breaking into loops, shifts in intensity, sounds generated from a mic'd thin piece of wood? was amazed at how well it was done. lots of crowd interaction at times just felt like a grand celebration of noise.. perhaps why he got a little carried away twords the end. Macronympha was the main event. dude who organized the fest said it best on a messageboard: "two people with faces covered in blood from all the stff beign thrown around. one dude at the hospital getting x-rays and stiches,another dude sent home, owners freak cause they think cops/ambulance is coming, I had to stop macro." Macro has always seem to been about the noise created by physical turbulence, destructive obsession, things going to hell.. was thrilled to see such an explosion of aggression. the fucking brutal as hell beautiful pure industrial noise driving it, which i currently have the mp3 downloading. Sutcliffe Jugend were next and maybe because of what they followed it seemed less spectacular. the vocals were totally maniacal, feedback was violent, but the noise was monotone digital & guitar wall that went on for what seemed like way to long to me so i wasnt really feeling it. yeah it was long and monotone on the recordings but something seemed lacking to me. i guess it is what they would sound like if they jus picked up and started again, still good PE. Wolf Eyes closed the night with a great set, creeped out sections in between the rocking tracks, by this time i was so burnt i dont remember much.

i know both nights sold out and they let in way more people then they were supposed to, cant imagine this thing getting any bigger, seriously intense. had a great time. got trashed, met loads of people from all over, including two pretty & quiet loner style girls, one each night, who unfortunatly or probably more so fortunatly live out of state. and picked up rad merch... which i will now list:

air conditioning / landed - split lp
incapacitants - pariah tapes - 5x cd
mania + the rita - total ass worship 7"+cs box
bone awl - so i must take from the earth cs
bone awl + the rita - cs
prurient - point & void cd
prurient / grunt - split cs
ba.ku - ritual totemic stone cs
immaculate:grotesque - predator hands cs
shallow waters - demo cs
prurient + sickness - sick silent summer slum cs
burnward / xiphoid dementia / internal empty cdr
wapstan - transcending hypothermia cdr
rehearsals for extinct sonorities cdr

so yeah, once again no fun is like the best time ever.

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 09:46:44 GMT

tonight i hung out in a regular ol bar 'tommys tavern' in brooklyn for a few hours. went to see pedestrian deposit play but the show started way late, so there i sat near the merch table with jon/pd (who was dressed eerily similar to me) for over 2 hrs while frat looking bar types drank and middle aged happy life facade failures played pool. finally bands started and the first was some psych-out rock shit which i thought was done really terribly from the get-go, there were about 35 people there for the bands but about a dozen of the hipster looking fucks left after these wankers saying how amazing they were. horrible. finally pd played, and as expected delivered beautiful walls of harsh noise purity for probably 5 minutes. instantly made the trip worth it. brian miller & kevin sheilds played next, 'kevin sheilds' i then found out was the pretty lady who sat at the merch table. played fairly extreme high-end & stuttering static + running around w/ packaging tape freakout type deal, pretty much rocked.. got a neat packaged cdr of theirs i must remember to check out when my head is not in a heavily congested fog. then i left thinking i could catch the 12.35 train home... but there was a subway disaster leaving the L train out of service so i had to go on a horrible shuttle bus transfer voyage throughout queens with dangerous looking loud drunken blacks. was frightening. this extremely obnoxious one dressed in all yellow with dollar signs all over his jacket & super giant crucifix next to super giant pot leaf in diamonds pendant on blingin chain kept screaming about how he was proud to be from nigeria, and harrassed nearly everyone on the bus in a nearly indistinguishable heavily african accent mess of words including the girl next to me who became obviously disturbed when he sat real close to her sayin how much he knew she liked him. his friends then came and pulled him away telling him to 'chill' after he started acting threatening twords her because she was screaming for him to get the fuck away from her after about a minute of his crude 'advances'. good thing my clothes make it appear im homeless or else he mightve harrassed me as well. so i missed my train and spent more money on a taxi home from ci, but i got in free and got a bunch of free tunes. bought some 7" called 'jackin off with jacko' by a band called 'the strangulated beatoffs', maybe when i listen to it ill be surprised and itl be good. the cover is kinda funny though, you might laugh if you could see it.

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 03:18:20 GMT

took my roadtest after work this morning and passed.. one less thing to think about. so ive got my liscence, cellphone, job... doing good at playing human reality right now i suppose. feel like i could smash my head through a wall at anytime though and would be a sobering venture.
i asked to be cut down to 4 days at work for feb & march cause i desperatly need more time to work on noise, they gave me a 4-day week this week, in which i did indeed make more progress then i have in recent weeks, but i was pissed to see im back to 5 days next week. so ill have to complain again. i wish i worked with people who werent stupid as fuck so i wouldnt look so good, recently theyve been wanting me to do tasks that other employees dont have to do cause they require them to be done efficiently and they take more thinking then moving boxes around. cant help but do a good job cause its real easy work and just easier/makes time go faster to do things right. fucks should pay me more. spent my mall giftcards the other day and got some dvds... used copy of candyman, b&b mike judge collection, for the devil a daughter, and a troma triple b-header feat. zombie island massacre, blood hook, & blades. entertaining enough. needed to spend like 12$ more so i got the encyclopedia of serial killers and some true crime book called 'in the name of satan' even though i never read. and shoes. shoes that im not used to wearing so i fell down a few stairs of a ladder at work the other night and my right arm has since been bruised, cut, and sore cause on my way down it was caught inbetween my body and the steps. sucked.
got copies of the latest ahlz release the other day, 4-way split 2x c10 w/ impregnable, maim, & romance... came out beautifully. that was nice.
uh guess i should be off to work now huhuh... hopefully i dont get into a terrible accident.

russians wrap their dead islamic terrorists in pig skin

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 13:58:16 GMT

uh, no pot, real bored.

working all those days didnt mean a thing when i got that 109hr paycheck last night motha fuckas... got seriously sodomized by taxes though, was hurtful. had a work related dram last night... was walking down an isle and knocked over a white bucket and diarrhea like fluid started spilling out, and didnt stop spilling out. fast forward to the next thing i remember which was balancing along the top of the shelves trying not to fall into the choppy shit-water that was now a good 7ft high and leaving pebble sized pieces of fecal matter along the walls.

i got a dvd player for christmas, dunno why, i own 3 dvds (christmas evil, zombie, rubbers lover) and never watch movies on my own (though i did watch christmas evil on xmas)... what is some good shit with horrible subject matter that netflix might have? or i guess in general since i have giftcards to the mall and cant think of anything besides that mike judge collection of beavis & butthead episodes. maybe i'll buy shoes.. havent worn shoes in about 8 years... uh yeah bored indeed.

oh yeah, i didnt take my road test cause mom got into an accident the day before and car was in the shop, and apparently you cant take it in a rental car. oh well.. i hate driving anyway.

a spiral is a 3 dimentional variable

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 14:12:14 GMT

mm need to kill time while waiting for the mail.... nothing going on besides nonstop working. had off the 12th after 6 days in a row... working at least 8hrs a night until xmas eve, which i have off, but unfortunatly have to go in xmas night. been doing the 6 day thing almost every week since mid nov. it is nice to make $ after never having little more then 100$ at a time and doing nothing for years. have been smoking much bud to combat the strain & drain but otherwise been quite fiscally conservative. have my road test on the 22nd. ive drove to/from work for awhile so i feel comfortable driving enough but dont expect to pass cause ive never parallel parked yet. need to work on noise more but getting up at 8 at night and going to sleep at 11 in the morning doesnt permit much. the 2 hrs after i get up is not noise time. i get nowhere slowly trying to do an hour or so each day after work but often just dont want to deal with anything in those hours. oh well. one year of work to make up for a decade of neglect for oneselfs existence isnt too bad. as long as it doesnt go on for further then the foreseeable future.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 15:46:40 GMT

this morning after work i went on a bicycle ride. i visited the swamp by my old house, and much to my dismay found the area quite changed from when i was last there 5 years ago. very cleared out and quite flooded. i had had a dream/vision while nodding awhile back that i went back and smoked salvia there and traveled back in time... so i brought the last of my stash with me but was far to disappointed to smoke it. decided to go on a journey to other places of the past and went into heckscher park via the trail behind timberpoint elementery and found that the 'bahas', an area where i used to jump bikes and hang out with local youths frequently around 5th-7th grade... and found the jumps, which i was looking forward to doing, were now filled in with tons of wood chips as jonathan had reported to me once. terrible. then went to the 'redwoods' area and found it much smaller and cleared out then i remembered. proceeded on the trail to where the water tower jumps once were. even the watertower itself no longer stands. the jumps are now totally flat and looks like it has been that way for a few years now. there was even a very small pond in the middle, perhaps with the created with the water that was left over in the tower. blowed hard. then made my way home along the greenbelt trail and found the 'sewer drainage area' on the way. this area is the only one that is as i remembered it. a large wasteland, totally trashed dried swampland. there was a large pond, but oddly not where the big drain pipe is. in fact, much to my delight, the land was set in a way so all the water flowed downward into a trench so the pipe had little water in it and i was able to walk inside a good 20ft until it was almost pitch black. flicked my lighter and it did nothing. id be cool to go back with a flashlight and enter the swer system.. thought about doing that ever since i found this pipe like 9 years ago. i had rolled a fat joint for this trip but ended up not smoking it until i was about home. got extremely tore up though, and after i set up some gear will record the first ENEMY OF THE FUTURE session.

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 01:41:08 GMT

i was out and about kinda early tonight, so after picking up some grass i decided to go to tiger mart for breakfast. on the way there i saw a small truck and a trailor attachment parked on the grass of the offramp of the parkway onto the highway... was near some construction stuff but there was no one around and the trailor door was wide open. being the skeevy character i am, i decided to poke my head in in hopes there would be a bag filled with money/drugs/guns/dead body parts. while there was nothing inside besides a blanket and some papers, the papers were kinda interesting. was a computer printout of pictures of a pretty young lady, her contact info (shes in suffolk county), and some text detailing the services she offers... "i cater to ALL fetishes... especially foot fetish, and have a toys r' us right by my incall so we can pick up some toys if you want!". a bunch of other specifics about her body, etc. were also on them. kinda creepy considering where i found them. at first i was gonna take the papers then while reading it i started feeling sketched out, should there be some maniac who just killed this woman watching me in the truck part of the trailor. so i got out of there. thinking back, i shouldve took the papers since they now have my fingerprints on them... if she is dead and he's romping with the corpse in the truck, i hope police dont show up here.

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 14:18:11 GMT

my lighter ran out of fluid this morning so i decided to go on a walk to tiger mart for another one and some eats... on the way there i found that "they" had removed a tree and some bushes on the edge of a wooded area in the middle of an off ramp which blocked some sort of electrical box. a few years back i wrote a big 'fuck you' on it with spraypaint i found and its now fully visible from the parkway on/off ramps to the highway... makes me smile.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 09:58:13 GMT

merzbow was kinda disappointing tonight, not as good as the last time... or maybe it was just the insane duration of his set - like an hour & twenty mins that made it seem boring. was quite loop based and super digital sounding, and i noticed several sounds that he used last time he played here so i was not very impressed. it was cool though, pretty well done heavy droning noise most of the time, but i wanted the harsher sounds to erupt uncotrollably but never did. ears are in a ringing fog now but i remember thinking it wasnt loud enough at the time. double leopards were great. circle i did not dig. urdog was alright. about 2 minutes after merzbow was done he and the circle guys came back on stage and did a live collab, which was real good... started quiet & peacfull and slowly got more aggressive and noisey. wouldve been better if it ended after 10 mins, but it kept building past what i thought should have been end parts several times and my back was really hurting so i left. who knows how long that went on for.

on the train to the city a middle aged man and woman who looked as if they were on there way home from a day at the office came on board talking about some kind of dental situation and sat behind me. the man was talking about how he didnt have any toothpaste on him and the woman said she thinks hers is probably empty... then the man said "maybe you can lick the toothpaste out of the cap and scrub my teeth with your tongue", the woman made an awkward super geek style laugh i wouldnt expect her to have and said "uh maybe after a few drinks". then there was a pause and the man laughed a laugh that sounds similar to if you were to say "huh" over and over while breathing in... "maybe eh? well theres plenty of booze".

was 53º when i walked home from the trainstation... perfect.

9 days of work starts tomorrow... pretty really horrible.

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 00:46:26 GMT

it is around this time of year i always get a feeling of anticipation for autumn lingering around my head. was outside a good portion of last night and finding it to be fairly cooler out then i expected was nice. september usually turns out to be a trick, what with temperatures still in the 70s for most of it.. but no matter how shitty things are knowing it is october or november brings a sense of comfort, usually motivates me to do things.. go on journeys of sorts... surely not going to waste them this year. even though i work all the time since my job screwed me into working 5 days a week - still considered 'part-time', at least i'll have money to do things on days off.... uh just a post to say that im thinking about autumn and its greatness a lot lately.

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 00:01:44 GMT

last night at work this mexican in his 50s "carlos" sort of had a breakdown while we were unloading the trucks. for some reason a lot of the boxes had no sticker on them directing where to place them (which is a real pain in the ass for new people like me), and him working in the front of the line he often just passed boxes down. a more knowledgable employee around the middle of the line across from where i was kept passing boxes that were meant for him up and finally, being drenched in sweat from lack of air conditioning, he threw down his box and started shouting angrily in fast spanish while pacing in a small circle and pounding his fists around in the air. people told him to calm down, i watched on entertained. then he stormed off, i dont know where he went. i guess to another position since the store was already locked down and there was no way for him to escape even if he wanted to.

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:51:30 GMT

got back from work a little over an hour ago... yeah i got a job. overnight stock at target. first 3 hours are spent unloading the trucks... stand in assembly line type formation and place packages which have a # you are assigned onto one of those wooden palettes that a forklift type machine then moves to the floor when it is piled high enough. was totally effortless, would be so great if this was the entire night. but when the trucks are empty of course you go stock the shelves, but that is also pretty easy. there are two things that kinda suck - the stores air conditioner is not on over night, so it gets pretty muggy in there, but not unbarable, at least not yet... and the store is locked down from 11-5 so theres no cigarette smoking. but for 9.50/hr when im awake doing nothing anyway i guess i cant complain.

theres other stuff i could update whoevers eyes falls on this about, but fuck it when theres no need, anyone who really cares what im up to im in touch with often enough already. i suspect the next update will be around the end of july when something else i feel like sharing the results of is in the past.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 10:51:30 GMT

returned from good noise in the city a couple hours ago... john wiese, prurient+thurston moore collab, emil beaulieau, jessica rylan all in top form. rather huge turn out, over 200 people id guess.. plenty of hipsters for moore but surprisingly quite a few of them stuck around for awhile even after the totally intense wall of feedback that went on for around 20 minutes. thurston took care of midrange feedback from an acoustic guitar, also a few mics/amps while prurient did the high end interjected with screams and some low end blasts.. one of the best live sets ive seen. rrron was selling 7"s 3 for $10 so i picked up a 20$ stack including the much needed for years but never got around to buying 'your wife is mine' ep from killer bug. pretty awesome.
filled out an application for a nighttime janitor job because i absolutely must get a real job... i guess im on the list.. or something.

i done shot niggas for you put my life at risk, my hammer'l knock sense in a nigga real quick

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 23:18:54 GMT

shit best game of tetris ever by about 100 points..

score: 15560
lines: 320

yowza im gettin all hot under the collar

the number you need to know

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 22:55:28 GMT

so school was not nearly as big a change as i anticipated... infact the only difference is im awake and outside in the daytime. nothing 'new' has happened but thats alright. my sleeping schedule hasnt been fixed, more fucked up as now i sleep in intervals of a few hours... 1-3hrs before school, tues+thurs 2hrs after, then up for dinner, then 2 more hours, and weds+fri 6 hrs after class. kinda makes me feel like shit all the time. nice to get 15hrs straight today. have been doing all the reading, trying to pay attention in class, got an a+b on the first two essays... tests next week, hopefully i retained what ive read.
finished that 44+min cut up noise track i was working on, now i need to get more tapes. i have 15gb worth of new material from about the past 5 months recorded onto the comp, started editing out the shitty parts the other day, have yet to start to construct anything though, still to much material to sift through and pick out what i want to do with what. in the last month i figured something great out that will be phase 3... future work will be a lot less meticulously edited.. i think.
the weather is getting nicer out... went out for a brief walk the other night when it was 52º, perfect temperature.. hooray for it almost being october.

aware

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 07:47:22 GMT

i had been sitting here quietly, when at approximatly 3am i noticed a slight rustling sound near my window... i ignored it and less then a minute later heard a small sound like a tap from a tiny stick accidentaly being pushed into the glass or a twig breaking. i got a feeling and headed upstairs and peeked into the parking lot where i saw nothing abnormal, then investigated the back side of the house where my window is located and noticed nothing. while peering out i heard a car turn on so i walked back to the front of the house and saw a car pulling out of a spot next to my front door, which i then remembered was previously empty since the widow next door had not been home for a few days. there were two whites, a male and female probably 20-30 years of age. for a split second spent in a world where paranoid scenerios broke into reality they took on a few faces, but i dont think i have seen these people before. perhaps i should hide a couple boards with nails sticking out of them hidden near my window.. incase any stalkers are getting a kick out of hanging around outside my house, they will get nails in their feet.

shit problems

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 01:49:33 GMT

broke another microphone like 10 mins ago.. damn it.

clean job

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:28:00 GMT

mm i was supposed to take the placement test for suffolk today, but mother crapped out on transportation at the last minute.. hope it can be rescheduled or else im fucked. this again raises the question of how i am going to get to classes once they start, there doesnt seem to be a solution besides going with someone everyday, but i would feel burdensome doing so.

ants under my eyelids

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 07:27:01 GMT

tonight i went on a solo train journey to brooklyn on 4 hours of sleep and an 18 hours empty stomach. all went smoothly besides me having to run / walk fastly for 20 city blocks in under 15 minutes in the terrible heat to catch the only train home.. that was very horrible. went to the usual place for noise, about 6 other bands played and most were alright, 2 were pretty cool - one being pbk and the other guy i dont know who it was. prurient was even more intense this time.. painfully loud and so violent.. his 5 minute performace made the trip worth it. i was quite excited to see one of my mid-90s japanese noise heros who came on last.. government alpha - and he was fucking killer. was a pretty good time but my back hurts to the extreme... time for a quick toke and then bed, hopefully before 7.